The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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