She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
