When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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