Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
