girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
