just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i think i scared a bird with my dick
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
