6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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