There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
