spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
