Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
