she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
