I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
