This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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