You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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