Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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