I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
