you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
