nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
