if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize