Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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