Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
