she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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