It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
