One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
