you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
