this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
