its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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