you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
