youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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