You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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