you're like a bully in the Christmas story
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sorry my hands just texted you
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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