Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
