I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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