Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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