HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
