420 ftw
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
