I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
