I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
