My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
