Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
