I love black thongs
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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