I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
