I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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