i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
