see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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