My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
