The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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