i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
