we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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