Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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