oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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