we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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