I love black thongs
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize