He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
