Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
