What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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