I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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