She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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